2023-01-27
On the Importance of Hard Work
Our intrepid explorer
and his dog.
Long ago, a friend of mine was playing the classic roguelike game Hack.
In this game, you had a familiar, namely a dog. It would follow you around, attack monsters, and even steal things from shops (good dog!).
The dog usually stayed close, but would sometimes roam freely. When it got into a fight with a monster out of your sight, the game would tell you:
You hear some noises in the distance.
My friend named his dog Rufferto.
And they took off together into the dungeon for fortune and glory and The Amulet of Yendor. Along the way, my friend found many items, most of which were mysterious. Colored potions the effects of which were unknown until consumed, YOLO-style. And magic scrolls and food and weapons and armor and rings and gems.
He found a wand. He didn't know what it did. So he, in a perhaps ethically-questionable move, zapped Rufferto with it to find out.
The wand could have hurt Rufferto. Or killed him.
But it didn't.
This was a wand of polymorph.
And it changed Rufferto into a wraith.
Holy crap.
Instantly Rufferto, in his new phantasmal form, was off like a shot down every dark corridor as my friend stood ineffectively by, jaw agape.
You hear some noises in the distance.
You hear some noises in the distance.
You hear some noises in the distance.
You hear some noises in the distance.
You hear some noises in the distance.
You hear some noises in the distance.
And in short order, Rufferto returned dutifully to my friend's side, that level of the dungeon having been completely cleaned out.
Good dog! Er, wraith.
So together they descended rough stone steps down to the next level. Once again, Rufferto slew everything, while my friend lazily sat around having the occasional snack to keep from starving to death.
Rufferto the Wraith demolished level after level. He was unstoppable.
Until one day, he wasn't. Sadly, after countless battles, Rufferto finally succumbed to his many wounds.
And my hapless friend, possessing neither the skills nor the experience fight the high-level monsters that hungrily encircled him was not long for this world.
The End.
Moral: when you rely on the work of others, you're not leveling up yourself. And then you will be killed. Figuratively.