ARTICLE II. Every pirate shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of system resources, because over and above their proper share, they are allowed a shift of clothes. But if they defraud the company to the amount of even one byte of RAM, disk or one CPU cycle, they shall be marooned. If any pirate rob another of CPU time through use of negative nice, nose and ears of that pirate shall be slit, and that pirate put ashore where sure to encounter hardships.
ARTICLE III. None shall game for money either with dice or cards. Furthermore, network activity shall not be allowed when Freestyle's T1 would be noticeably impacted. Any of the company found violating this article shall be keel-hauled.
ARTICLE IV. If any pirate is found to be violating copyrights or distributing pornography or illegal material, that pirate shall be marooned with a 8086 running MS-DOS 3.3, where sure to suffer greatly.
ARTICLE V. Each pirate shall keep all GNU utilities, keyboard and mouse at all times clean and ready for action.
ARTICLE VI. If any pirate shall be found seducing and carrying to sea in disguise any of the opposite sex, that pirate shall suffer death unless the rest of the crew is shown how it was done.
ARTICLE VII. Admins that shall desert the ship or their quarters in time of catastrophic system failure shall be punished by death or marooning.
ARTICLE VIII. Any admin found abusing rank by reading the mail or private files of any other shall be lashed to the mizzenmast and pelted with 256 save one floppy disks, and shall be strapped over the end of a cannon.
ARTICLE IX. None shall flame another on board the ship, but every pirate's quarrel shall be ended on shore by funoodle or nerf pistol in this manner: At the word of command from the quartermaster, each pirate being previously placed back to back, shall turn and fire immediately. If either pirate does not, the quartermaster shall knock the piece out of that pirate's hand. If both miss their aim they shall take to their funoodles, and the pirate that draweth first blood shall be declared the victor.
ARTICLE X. No pirate shall talk of breaking up their way of living till each has a share of £l,000. Every pirate who shall become a cripple or lose a limb while performing system maintainance shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.
ARTICLE XI. The system administrators shall each receive two shares of a prize, the regular piratehaven users, one and one half shares, and private gentlepersons of fortune one share each.